Blog Contribution by Elizabeth Harris, Ph.D.
Did you know it's tougher
to be a school ager? Do you remember what it was like to be a school
ager? What we know is that school age is the time when social
relationship awareness begins to culminate. Children between ages 5 and
12 are at a developmental stage where self-concept and self-esteem become a
central focus. Oftentimes this develops through peer relationships.
School aged children are
in Erikson's Industry versus Inferiority stage. This is the stage when
children become more aware of stereotypes and how they are viewed by
others.
What child have you met
that wants to be disliked? I have yet to meet one. However, there is a
lot of discussion at elementary school about who likes who, who is good enough
and who is not.
I remember this concept
being one of those growing pains that everyone experienced in one way or
another. Everyone all dealt with it the best they could at the time. The
majority of us overcame. We overcame the boy competitions, the mean girls, the
school demands, societal restrictions and other challenges.
It seems that school
agers today have a greater challenge that most of us didn't grow up with.
That's right, I'm talking about social media. All the most popular sites
and games involve social media. Roblox, Minecraft, Musical.ly, you
name it. Social media for communication can be both a blessing when you can
access friends more easily and a curse when you can hide your face and express
your words with little or no filter.
Children also don't
realize that these words are permanently affixed on a public forum and can
follow them beyond the elementary school. There is a greater consequence
to electronic posts than the written notes that could be torn up later. For
this reason, we are seeing more reports of childhood depression, anxiety and
suicidal ideation and attempts.
There are socioeconomic
implications to social media socialization. A child may not be a part of
the "in group" if they don't have access to a computer, a tablet, a phone
or other device with internet capability. These children may be left to feel
out of the loop or ignored which can be significant negative hit to
self-esteem.
As psychologists, our
role is to educate parents to determine if children are using appropriate
social media sites and determine if the child is able demonstrate responsible
use. If your child uses social media sites, navigate the site with
them. Know what the site is about and how to use it. Make sure the
profile is private and that all contacts are kids that your child knows.
Monitor the amount of use and the content on the feed. No internet
communication should be outside of your access. And most importantly, be there
to support your child through any negative interaction as you would an in-person
interaction.
If you can't monitor use,
it may be appropriate to have your child wait to communicate with friends in
this manner. Our school agers might have it tougher than we as parents did, but
they too, can overcome and persevere to become productive and emotionally
healthy people.
