Did you know it's tougher to be a school ager amid advanced technology?

Blog Contribution by Elizabeth Harris, Ph.D.

Did you know it's tougher to be a school ager? Do you remember what it was like to be a school ager?  What we know is that school age is the time when social relationship awareness begins to culminate.  Children between ages 5 and 12 are at a developmental stage where self-concept and self-esteem become a central focus.  Oftentimes this develops through peer relationships.

School aged children are in Erikson's Industry versus Inferiority stage.  This is the stage when children become more aware of stereotypes and how they are viewed by others. 

What child have you met that wants to be disliked? I have yet to meet one.  However, there is a lot of discussion at elementary school about who likes who, who is good enough and who is not. 

I remember this concept being one of those growing pains that everyone experienced in one way or another. Everyone all dealt with it the best they could at the time.  The majority of us overcame. We overcame the boy competitions, the mean girls, the school demands, societal restrictions and other challenges. 

It seems that school agers today have a greater challenge that most of us didn't grow up with.  That's right, I'm talking about social media.  All the most popular sites and games  involve social media.  Roblox, Minecraft, Musical.ly, you name it. Social media for communication can be both a blessing when you can access friends more easily and a curse when you can hide your face and express your words with little or no filter. 

Children also don't realize that these words are permanently affixed on a public forum and can follow them beyond the elementary school.  There is a greater consequence to electronic posts than the written notes that could be torn up later. For this reason, we are seeing more reports of childhood depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation and attempts.

There are socioeconomic implications to social media socialization.  A child may not be a part of the "in group" if they don't have access to a computer, a tablet, a phone or other device with internet capability. These children may be left to feel out of the loop or ignored which can be significant negative hit to self-esteem.

As psychologists, our role is to educate parents to determine if children are using appropriate social media sites and determine if the child is able demonstrate responsible use.  If your child uses social media sites, navigate the site with them.  Know what the site is about and how to use it.  Make sure the profile is private and that all contacts are kids that your child knows.  Monitor the amount of use and the content on the feed. No internet communication should be outside of your access. And most importantly, be there to support your child through any negative interaction as you would an in-person interaction. 

If you can't monitor use, it may be appropriate to have your child wait to communicate with friends in this manner. Our school agers might have it tougher than we as parents did, but they too, can overcome and persevere to become productive and emotionally healthy people.